ROAD SIGNS FOR THE JOURNEY: It Can Wait

10 Elul, Friday, September 5

Here’s a new sign that popped up this summer:

“It can wait: Text stop 5 miles ahead”

I fell in love with the simple phrase, “it can wait.” Of course it can wait!

Yet waiting is very difficult. We are programmed to respond to that jingle, that buzz that tells us “someone needs me!”  Yet we can be better than that. We can overcome distractions and remain focused on the present, especially when we are in a life-and-death situation like traveling down the highway at speeds faster than any human or animal can run. (The cheetah has been clocked at 70 mph. What’s your highway speed?)

Wait—you may say. I’m good at multi-tasking! According to the experts, multi-tasking takes our attention away, diminishing our capacity in everything we’re doing. To say that I am good at multi-tasking is like a smoker saying that smoking doesn’t do us any harm, according to Clifford Nass, author of The Man Who Lied to his Laptop and professor of Communications at Stanford University. He explains that “when people are driving and talking on the phone or texting, that other task becomes what we call the primary task, the thing their brain focuses on.” It can wait, at least for another 5 miles.

We have to wait for lots of things that are beyond our control: we wait for a baby to be born. We wait for someone in surgery. We wait to hear about a job offer.

Waiting requires patience. To overcome our distracted minds, we can start by noticing how impatience manifests itself—the anxiety that arises, the tightness in parts of the body, increased pulse or rapid breathing. Then consider, what is the value of waiting versus acting? Count to 10. Pay attention to your breath. Sing a silly song. Find something else to take engage your mind more fully.

Waiting requires discipline. While someone else is speaking, stop thinking about what you plan to say in response and listen. While.dinner is being served to others, say a word of blessing for the food or thank the cook before taking a bite. These are habits of discipline worth inculcating in ourselves and our children to help us all be better focused.

Of course, there are occasions when waiting is the wrong response. Just this week, quick-thinking and quick-acting strangers at a T station jumped to save a man lying on the tracks, stopping the train just 50 feet away.

It can wait. The email. The text. The tweet. Not just while driving our cars, but while navigating our everyday lives. I know it's hard. I can't tell you how many times I was distracted while trying to write this message.  Were you distracted while reading it?