Because it's June!

“June is bustin’ out all over” is the song rising in my heart this time of year. From Rogers & Hammerstein’s “Carousel,” the song opens with the following intro that might sound familiar to New Englanders (especially after this past winter):

March went out like a lion
Awakin' up the water in the bay;
Then April cried and stepped aside,
And along came pretty little May!
May was full of promises
But she didn't keep 'em quickly enough for some
And the crowd of doubtin' Thomases
Was predictin' that the summer'd never come

But it's comin' by dawn,
We can feel it come,
You can feel it in your heart
You can see it in the ground

You can see it in the trees
You can smell it in the breeze

Look around! Look around! Look around!

Look around indeed! This song describes the jubilation that many of us feel as we finally put away our winter coats and sweaters, take out the patio furniture, get on our bikes, and enjoy the fresh breezes that smell of peonies and carry hints of ocean waves.

June seemed like the perfect time for the 2014 HBT retreat. Last year’s congregational retreat fell on Mother’s Day, a bit early for the beach. Yet it was such a huge success, that we immediately scheduled this year’s return to the Cape for the first open date we could find: June 15-17. Last year, we impinged on Mother’s Day; this year we tread on Father’s Day. In any case, we have 97 individuals registered this year, including 28 kids (ages 2 - 19). I’m looking forward to the beach, of course, and also to slowing down and spending time as a community over Shabbat meals, singing, dancing, playing and schmoozing.

Look around! Look around! Look around!

Look around and you’ll notice that some of our members who would have liked to come will not be joining us. June is a month for family events (weddings, b’nai mitzvah), graduations, and other summer activities. Not surprisingly, June is also the time for the annual Gay Pride Parade in Boston, and it falls this Saturday. This created a conflict for some individuals, and perhaps for our congregation as well.

In yesterday’s Boston Globe, this same tension was highlighted by this weekend’s conflict between the Pride Parade and the Democratic State Convention in Worcester. While some political leaders will shuttle between the two events, most people who would like to attend both will have to make a choice. As the Yiddish saying goes, “Mit eyn tokhes, ken men nit tantsn af tsvey khasenos,” or “With one behind, you can’t dance at two weddings.”

It’s a tough choice, just as it is for participants in the HBT retreat.

The lingering question, one worthy of conversation, is, how does this conflict speak to our temple’s espoused commitment to LGBT inclusion?  Should we have skipped the retreat this year if this was the only available date?  In what way can our congregation demonstrate that this conflict between dates is not a repudiation of our values? These are serious questions.

As the poet Rilke once wrote, “Those tasks that have been entrusted to us are difficult; almost everything serious is difficult, and everything is serious.”

What goes into our decision-making process for temple events? The first criterion will always be the Jewish calendar. That is our primary mission. We schedule and reschedule events around holidays and Shabbat.

In addition, we have many principles and constituencies we care about. We aspire to include as many people as possible in a way that is as welcoming as possible. Yet the retreat is not accessible for members who are aged or have disabilities. Some of our members who come regularly on Shabbat morning will have no service to attend at HBT while we are away on retreat. As a congregation that holds community as a central tenet, it is important that we remain mindful of the many constituencies in our community, and how our choices to support one may affect another.

Our choices may reflect our overall values, and they may also reflect what we feel is important for that moment. Some choices, like what fruit to eat from the lunch buffet, are fairly undemanding. Some choices, like whether to steal or whether to pay for our purchases, are straightforward. And sometimes, the choices are between two things that seem equally important.

The struggle that ensues in difficult decisions is called in the Mussar tradition, a bechira (choice) point. Alan Morinis explains (in Everyday Holiness) that the bechira-point provides an opening “where you have the greatest potential to ascend spiritually. It is important to recognize that each choice you make can be a rung on the ladder” of your spiritual life. They are opportunities to reflect on what motivates us. They have power to make us even more committed, or they can transform us.

Next year, the Pride Parade will take place on Saturday, June 13. Head’s up: we have a bar mitzvah scheduled for that morning.

Happy Pride – may the parade be joyful and may your streets be lined with love.

Happy June to all, wherever you may be this weekend! For those who will not to be at the retreat, we will miss you, we know you’ll be missing us, and we hope to see you at the next retreat.