On the Second Day of Elul, I realized I have work to do

 

You know how unsolicited and unexpected offers pop up in your email? I try to buzz through the promotions quickly in order to get to the personal and professional messages. This morning, the second day of Elul, I paused to glance at an email from Jewish Lights, promoting a new book, Repentance:The Meaning and Practice of Teshuva.

An endorsement of this book, a quote from my teacher and colleague, Rabbi Nancy Flam, caught my eye:

“Our greatness will not be judged by our supposedly grand accomplishments, but by how each of us deals with our inevitable moral failings, however great or small.”

This morning, I heard a radio report on the latest MIT study of successfully implanting “false memories” in mice. Though the researcher assured the audience that it will be a long time before this can be accomplished in humans, he also suggested that this is a good time to start the conversation. He noted that for people with debilitating traumas, this can be a valuable tool. However, I would argue that for most of us, the “real memories” we have should suffice.

As we navigate the coming weeks in preparation for the New Year, memory is key. Without memory, can I regret the hurts I have inflicted, the offensive words I’ve spoken, the promises I have broken? Can I look closely at my “inevitable moral failings, however great or small”?

Implanting false memories is a great accomplishment. But it will not lead to greatness for anyone who seeks to escape the uncomfortable past.  Only through examining our deeds, acknowledging our habitual behaviors, and seeking to rectify our mistakes, can we rise to moral and spiritual heights. Without memory, we fall into a false way of living. If we forget what we have done, how can we apologize? How can we ask forgiveness? How can we grow?

Jewish communal life is rooted in remembering our past. Rather than distance ourselves from our past, we recall it ritually. On Pesach, we reenact our ancient slavery and the subsequent Exodus. On Shabbat we recall the stories of our ancestors, with their faults looming as large as their feats.  At weddings we break a glass to remember the destruction of the Temple. Whenever we study Jewish history, we reflect on the experience of wandering and the adaptive culture that has survived dispersion to every region where human beings have settled.

From our memories, collective and individual, we tell our stories and we extract meaning. We look back and discover how we have managed to survive. Most importantly, our memory is full of moral failings from which we learn and grow and contribute to the healing of the world. This month, the twenty-nine days of Elul, let’s examine our memories closely and face “our inevitable moral failings, however great or small.” Then we will be ready, on day one of the year 5774, to achieve greatness.